California Dreamin'

Sometimes I will try to taunt my Californian family and friends about their lack of four seasons. Seriously, who wants to be looking for shade during an outdoor(!) wedding in November (!) (Answer: Me.) I try to play up the romance of an actually functioning fireplace as opposed to one used for storage (Yes, you know who I'm talking about) But let's be real, there comes a day every winter when I would trade anything short of my kids -and maybe my husband (... what? he's the one who got me into this mess!) for a few days where the primary conversation is not about snow tires and how much vitamin D is required not to die in this place. Nobody outside of the Northeast actually dreams of a white Christmas. Irving Berlin wrote the song in ... you guessed it, California!
Yes, I'm done now (for a few minutes, I may resume my rant midway through the post ... you've been warned.)
My kids, however, embrace winter like a long lost friend - that friend that always comes over right before dinner and leaves before the washing up, that friend that calls and wants only to talk about their own troubles  and forgets that you're a person too, that friend that ... oops sorry.
They love all things winter related, but I'm starting to wonder if their love of the cold is just a foil for post-cold coziness.  The same kids that are not allowed juice until they finish two cups of water first (please no comments from Urologists) are plied with hot chocolate multiple times a day throughout the months of December, January, and February.  Maybe I'm overcompensating for not giving them the Pacific Ocean childhood I had.  Whatever the reason, they milk it (pun totally intended) for all its worth.
Another winter must-have for my kids is their rice bags.  I've tried to come up with a more elegant name for them, but rice bags stuck and now I can't get rid of it.  These rice bags spend one minute in the microwave and provide enough footheat to last until you're to far asleep to notice the below-zero temperatures.  They are also the easiest sewing project in the history of the world (I've checked - and since Wikipedia is down, you can't fact-check me).
So for all of you still too daunted by zippers and buttons to pull out your sewing machine, or for those who want an introductory project for little sewers, here we go:

5-minute Sac de Riz (everything sounds better in French)

You only need two rectangles.  I decided to go all fancy and quilt this one, but feel free to just use one layer ... if you dare!  Mwahahahaha.  Also notice the awesome ironing job I did. 

The perfect quilting sandwich.  Again, just ignore if you're only doing one layer.

Ignore... ibid

Now just pretend we're starting again with two rectangles

Putting fabric right sides together is pretty much all you need to know about sewing

With right sides together, sew around the rectangle about 1/2" in leaving a gaping 3" hole on one of the long sides

Using that gaping hole, turn the whole thing inside out and you now have this thing of beauty

Do as I say, not as I do... put FAR LESS rice than you think you should.  Otherwise, your children will hear you saying things they never should as you try to sew it shut.  I advice no more than halfway full.  This is also where you can add a drop or two of lavender oil if you like.

Fold the ends of the gaping hole in and topstich around the outside to close it.  There are no pictures of this part because I was busy yelling at my sewing machine at this part.  See caption above.  This is nothing if not a cautionary tale.  This guy is ready for a one-minute microwave.

See: now she can pretend that her left ear is in a sunny place. My son is in the background composing, "Ode to Winter"